by: tiffany tripp
Starting this season as part of the Nike NBA Earned Program, a new partnership between the athletic apparel giant and the NBA, the 16 teams that made the playoffs the previous season will be awarded an exclusive alternate uniform. The program released the new jersey designs today, receiving the typical fan range of emotions: everything from vomit emojis to heart-eye/crying emoji combos to the least creative response a person can give, “meh.” We will start seeing these uniforms on-court Christmas Day, according to the NBA website.
I decided to rank them, despite only being a self-credentialed expert judge of other people’s clothes. Without further ado, I present my barely coherent musings about some laundry.
Coming in frigid at number 16, Golden State. It looks too much like another one of their jerseys and frankly they just deserve to be last in something.
In 15th place we have the San Antonio Spurs. I like the tribute to our military, it just doesn’t look all that different (to me) than last year’s City Edition.
14th place belongs to the Wizards. Dazzle me next time.
The next two spots, 13th and 12th, are basically a tie. Oklahoma City's and Houston’s are both pretty clean looking and I certainly don’t hate them, but I didn’t have much of a reaction to either of these and what I’m looking for is the wow factor.
My beloved Jazz come in at 11th place. I’ve never been a huge fan of that shade of green, but other than that I like the jersey. It took me months to come around on their City Edition, so maybe I’ll come around. Not likely though, simply because they are just very plain.
Philadelphia takes 10th place, because America. Really though, I love how fresh and clean this jersey is. I’d be scared to buy one as a fan because I know it would end up with nacho cheese on it within a week, but I’d probably still buy one if I was a fan of cowards.
Ninth place goes to the Blazers. I love that deep red, and though I would’ve liked to see a more modern font used, it’s a nice looking jersey altogether.
The Pacers come in at eighth place, with a simple jersey with a clean font and a diagonal blue and yellow panel down the left side. Creative without being overdone.
Seventh place belongs to Minnesota. Anytime they use purple and that amazing 80s lettering, I’ll probably be a fan of whatever it is. On top of that, the stark white contrasts so well with the minimal amount of purple used.
In what might be considered my hottest take, the Bucks grabbed sixth place. I’m proud of the Bucks for not having a fugly uniform, and they pulled the retro thing off really well. That’s not always easy to do, especially with the Harley Davidson patch being a mandatory element.
New Orleans comes in at fifth place with their chunky horizontal stripes on white, straight out of the 70s. If they’d done any more striping, it could’ve started to look like a Hot Dog on a Stick alternate uniform, but they handled the bold approach with caution.
Cleveland really caught my eye with that fresh blue, winning them 4th place. It has just enough of a geometric pattern to not be boring and also avoid looking busy.
The Boston Celtics do vintage very well. Third place. I love it. I’ll be buying it.
I wanted so badly to put Miami in first place, but alas they come in second. I just wonder if the Miami Vice theme isn’t going to feel gimmicky soon if they keep going hard with it. I love it, and most of the Earned Edition jerseys have ties to the City Edition, but I want this theme to be around for awhile...so it should probably be used sparingly. THAT PINK, THOUGH. Yum.
The Raptors take first place for pulling off a nearly perfect pairing of bold and clean. I love this, and I loved the black and gold version. I’d consider buying a black and white version. So fresh.
You can trust these rankings because I am a professional. Thanks for reading my professional uniform rankings. I can’t wait to see these in action, starting Christmas Day! Let us know on Twitter or Instagram how your rankings differ.